Random Thoughts - Volume I

I haven’t been ignoring you…really I haven’t. I’ve actually been in San Francisco for the past two weeks on business. Truth be told, I’ve been busier than a hooker at the Democratic National Convention. Nevertheless, I apologize for my absence.

My travels and the time away have given me a lot of time to think and if you’ve read my blog, then you know that can be a scary thing. Anyway, I’ve written down some of the random thoughts I’ve had over the past few weeks. Enjoy.

I hate going to Ethiopian food…I always leave the restaurant hungry.

Why is the hottest flight attendant always working in the first class section? Is this by design? And if so, how and when does that conversation actually occur?

Let’s play a quick game of “Otherwise Know As…”
The Diamond District of Manhattan, otherwise known as Jerusalem west.
The Puerto Rican Day Parade, otherwise known as the big Manhattan gang rape.

I have a drunken spinning theory. You know how you start to spin when you’re laying on the floor getting ready to pass out after you’ve puked all over the bathroom? Well my theory is that if you’re naturally left handed you spin counter clockwise and if you’re naturally right handed you spin clockwise. I’ve tested this theory with about 20 of my friends and it’s held true thus far.

I hate white cab drivers (yes, they do exist). At least Indian (dots, not feathers) cabbies make shit up when you talk to them as they are driving you home after a long evening at the bars. Little did I know that drunken NYU girls love to give head to smelly, hairy, Indian cabbies…riiiiiight, dude.

Speaking of Indian (dots, not feathers) cabbies, there’s a new game that I like to play with my friends before getting into a cab. I call it consonants or vowels. Basically you choose which one of the two you want, your buddy gets the other. When you get in the cab you count the consonants and vowels in the cabbies' name and whichever has more wins.

Is it just me or do The White Stripes sound a lot like The Electric Mayhem Band from The Muppets? Think about the song The Denial Twist…now think of Dr. Teeth banging away on his Organ.

Let’s play “Name that Band…”
“Dubs for Hire” would be a great name for a rap group and “Less than Stoked” would be a great name for a punk band

Is there bad signage in Albuquerque or was Bugs Bunny just really bad with directions?

And that concludes the first edition of Drunk Guy Random Thoughts. I’m back and I’ve missed you guys.

Cheers,

NYC Drunk Guy