Confessions of a Drunk Guy
I’m writing this blog entry from my happy place. I’m drinking a $50 bottle of wine and smoking a Cuban cigar out on my balcony. You know why? Because I make good money and I can, that’s why. You see, this is where I come to relax, get away from the world and get my thoughts together.
I want to confess something. I mean, there’s something that you don’t know about me and I want to get it off my chest. Actually, there’s a lot that you don’t know about me (yet), but this is particularly big. I mean at our core, we’re all just the sum of all the little experiences that we’ve had, right? I’m on my way to being drunk, so if that doesn’t make any sense, I apologize.
So before I make my big confession to the world, I want to preface this with one statement: I’m not telling you this so that you feel sorry for me. That’s not my intention at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’ll be the first one to stand up and say that I’ve lived a very charmed life and I have no regrets...life is too short for that.
All right, so here goes. I’ve been engaged. Yes, yours truly, the NYC Drunk Guy was engaged. As recently as last year, in fact. I know what you’re thinking. Yeah, you fucked it up by getting drunk and nailing some bar skank one night. Actually, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Truth be told, I was completely in love with this girl. She had me...heart, soul and mind. I would have happily taken a bullet and given my life so that this woman could have lived one more day.
Great...so what was the problem. There was actually two problems: 1. My beloved fiancé wasn’t emotionally stable (read: she was divorced, still dealing with the repercussions from that relationship and subsequently, was also on meds) and 2. She didn’t like cold weather. So when I got an amazing job offer that was going to move me (and us) back to New York City (I was living in a - God forbid - southern state), she was less than excited about the idea...although all she said was that I should, “take the job because it’s a great opportunity.” You see, this job more than doubled my salary at the time and put my into a position to accelerate my career and provide a stable and very comfortable living for my future family. Essentially, I was looking at the job offer as a short term move that would benefit our family in the long run...she was looking at it like I was neglecting her affinity to warm weather. Nice, huh?
So there we were, two days before the movers came and she drops the bomb on me: “I can’t do the New York thing...I think we should break up.” Awesome. Funny, how you think that when someone commits to being engaged, spending the rest of their lives with you and then encourages you to take a job, that when you do, they decide to discontinue the relationship...because, “I wasn’t considering her feelings,” isn’t it? I’m not bitter or anything...really.
OK, so that’s it...that’s my story. Thanks for listening, I feel much better now. Like when you’ve been traveling for three days and you’ve had several large meals consisting of 20oz. steaks, Chinese food and burritos and you finally take that dump that’s been festering inside of you for the past 72 hours. Like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.
There’s a line from a Jimmy Buffet song where the old man that’s telling the story of his life says, “some of it’s magic and some of it’s tragic, but I’ve had a good life all the way.” The way I see it, that’s what living a perfect life is all about...there’s something innately human about dealing with the emotional lows and celebrating the emotional highs in life. Like the guy in Vanilla Sky says, “without the bitter [in life], you can’t appreciate the sweet.”
Tomorrow’s Friday...life’s good, go out and enjoy it.
Cheers,
NYCDG
I want to confess something. I mean, there’s something that you don’t know about me and I want to get it off my chest. Actually, there’s a lot that you don’t know about me (yet), but this is particularly big. I mean at our core, we’re all just the sum of all the little experiences that we’ve had, right? I’m on my way to being drunk, so if that doesn’t make any sense, I apologize.
So before I make my big confession to the world, I want to preface this with one statement: I’m not telling you this so that you feel sorry for me. That’s not my intention at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’ll be the first one to stand up and say that I’ve lived a very charmed life and I have no regrets...life is too short for that.
All right, so here goes. I’ve been engaged. Yes, yours truly, the NYC Drunk Guy was engaged. As recently as last year, in fact. I know what you’re thinking. Yeah, you fucked it up by getting drunk and nailing some bar skank one night. Actually, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Truth be told, I was completely in love with this girl. She had me...heart, soul and mind. I would have happily taken a bullet and given my life so that this woman could have lived one more day.
Great...so what was the problem. There was actually two problems: 1. My beloved fiancé wasn’t emotionally stable (read: she was divorced, still dealing with the repercussions from that relationship and subsequently, was also on meds) and 2. She didn’t like cold weather. So when I got an amazing job offer that was going to move me (and us) back to New York City (I was living in a - God forbid - southern state), she was less than excited about the idea...although all she said was that I should, “take the job because it’s a great opportunity.” You see, this job more than doubled my salary at the time and put my into a position to accelerate my career and provide a stable and very comfortable living for my future family. Essentially, I was looking at the job offer as a short term move that would benefit our family in the long run...she was looking at it like I was neglecting her affinity to warm weather. Nice, huh?
So there we were, two days before the movers came and she drops the bomb on me: “I can’t do the New York thing...I think we should break up.” Awesome. Funny, how you think that when someone commits to being engaged, spending the rest of their lives with you and then encourages you to take a job, that when you do, they decide to discontinue the relationship...because, “I wasn’t considering her feelings,” isn’t it? I’m not bitter or anything...really.
OK, so that’s it...that’s my story. Thanks for listening, I feel much better now. Like when you’ve been traveling for three days and you’ve had several large meals consisting of 20oz. steaks, Chinese food and burritos and you finally take that dump that’s been festering inside of you for the past 72 hours. Like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.
There’s a line from a Jimmy Buffet song where the old man that’s telling the story of his life says, “some of it’s magic and some of it’s tragic, but I’ve had a good life all the way.” The way I see it, that’s what living a perfect life is all about...there’s something innately human about dealing with the emotional lows and celebrating the emotional highs in life. Like the guy in Vanilla Sky says, “without the bitter [in life], you can’t appreciate the sweet.”
Tomorrow’s Friday...life’s good, go out and enjoy it.
Cheers,
NYCDG
posted by NYC Drunk Guy at 11:28 PM
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