The Drunk Guy's Top 10 U.S. Party Cities
I travel a lot. I'm a visit to North Dakota, Montana, Iowa and Alaska shy of having visited all 50 U.S. states. Actually, I move a lot too. In the last six years I’ve lived in six different states. OK, three of those states are in the tri-state area, but still.
As a perennial traveler, I have friends all over the country and when I visit them, I have the distinct privilege of experiencing their city as a local and not a tourist because they know the best bars, shops and restaurants. The number one reason New Yorkers hate Times Square is the constant flow of tourists walking around with theirs heads up their assess, hypnotized by all the lights and big buildings. “Just walk asshole, I have shit to do.” Anyway, as New Yorkers we know that if you visit NYC and never leave the Times Square area (and many tourists don’t), you are doing yourself a great injustice.
That said, I have been able to experience many U.S. cities, the way they were meant to be experienced: drinking in bars with the local, single crowd and off the beaten path of souvenir stores and cheesy theme restaurants. Here’s my list, in reverse order, of the ten best U.S. cities to party in.
10. Washington D.C. - the nation’s capital sneaks into my top ten due to the strong bar scenes of Adam’s Morgan, Georgetown and near-by Old Town Alexandria, VA. You can find great restaurants and beautiful people in all three. The major drawback is the pretentious D.C. power scene. Since everyone in Washington works for the government and is pulling in around $35K a year, expect a heavy dosage of “who do you know?” and “who do you work for?” talk. It’s a little disgusting, actually.
9. San Francisco - I’ve never seen as many white cab drivers in one city as I did the last time I visited San Francisco. I swear to God that one of the cabbies was Jerry Garcia...the guy looked just like the late Grateful Dead singer, although I don’t think my brother was buying it. Regardless, the city is full of great restaurants, great scenery and a plethora of chill bars with a funky, beatnik feel to them. The major drawback? Public transportation is somewhat of a bitch and cabs are expensive as all hell.
8. San Diego - I refer to this city as “Man Diego,” due to the disproportionate number of single guys to single women. I actually looked this statistic up once and found that 59% of singles in San Diego between the ages of 18-29 are male, while only 41% are female. Ouch. Talk about staking the deck (or the dick in this case). Granted, that 41% female is ALL quality, but don’t be surprised when you go out to the bars downtown and find sets of ten dudes conversationally masturbating around two girls.
7. Los Angeles - the level of pretentiousness in this city if off the charts, but if you’re able to suck it up and accept it for what it is, you’ll find tons of great places to go out. My personal favorites include the Hollywood/West Hollywood/Le Brea areas as well as Santa Monica. Public transportation and cabs in Los Angeles is somewhere between a bitch and non-existent, so make sure someone stays sober enough to drive to Roscoe’s for some fried chicken and waffles before heading home after the bars close.
6. Austin - the live music scene is this central Texas town is pretty much unrivaled. With the music, you can find plenty of beer swilling college students and even a fair share of beautiful, blonde and busty (everything really is bigger in Texas) 20-something women. 6th street is the place to go for the rowdy college Texas bar crowd. For a more chill, older Martini and cigar crowd venture over to 4th street. If you’re feeling extra adventurous grab 15 of your best friends, fill a cooler full of canned beer and spend a day floating down the Guadalupe river.
5. Las Vegas - you can find an answer in Las Vegas for any vice you might have. A weekend full of drinking, gambling, strippers and whores is the Vegas version of batting the cycle. So why is Vegas only number five on my list? From a strictly drinkers perspective you can get yourself into a lot of trouble in Vegas if you booze too much...which is absolutely set up by design. Also, if you’re a clubbing person, Vegas is great, but if you’re looking for a good old Irish Pub with great music, you’re not going to find one here.
4. New Orleans - I describe New Orleans as the best little shit-hole to party in and then get the hell out of...and this was before hurricane Katrina. The bars stay open all night long, you can drink in the streets (as well as piss and shit for that matter) and the drinks are the only thing stronger than the god-forsaken stench of the French Quarter. The last time I actually blacked out was in New Orleans. There was a period of three hours between 2 AM and 5AM that I don’t remember a fucking thing. All of a sudden, I snapped out of my drunken comma and I was drinking Cappuccino and eating Beignets at Café Du Monde.
3. Boston - the ultimate young-person’s city. Drinking isn’t something you do just to blow off some steam after work, drinking is a way of life in Boston. You go to a sports event, you booze. You go to a concert, you booze. You go to the Cape, you booze. To Bostonians, life is one big excuse to get fucked up...and who can argue with that? The partying drawbacks include the fact that some bars close at 1AM and some close at 2AM. (and there’s really no rhyme or reason as to why this is)...and it’s easier to find a sober person at a Red Sox game than it is to find a cab downtown at 2AM.
2. Chicago - There’s a reason why New Jersey/New York’s own Frank Sinatra called Chicago, “my kinda town.” This lakeside mid-west city is God’s gift to beer lovers. From downtown to Lincoln Park to Wrigleyville, you can find plenty of great bars with approachable and good-looking women. Hell, the women in this city will actually approach you. It’s unbelievable really.
1. New York - was there really any question as to the best city in the U.S. to party in? There are over 10,000 bars in NYC, they stay open until 4 AM and there are a plethora of cabs to take your drunken ass home at the end of the night. Not to mention, the city is full of great restaurants, beautiful women and heavy-handed bar tenders. This city is a boozer’s Toys ‘R Us with a bar and a drink for every taste and occasion. The biggest drawback? So many bars, so little time.
So what are you doing still reading this blog? Go out and party in the greatest city in the world!
Cheers,
NYCDG
As a perennial traveler, I have friends all over the country and when I visit them, I have the distinct privilege of experiencing their city as a local and not a tourist because they know the best bars, shops and restaurants. The number one reason New Yorkers hate Times Square is the constant flow of tourists walking around with theirs heads up their assess, hypnotized by all the lights and big buildings. “Just walk asshole, I have shit to do.” Anyway, as New Yorkers we know that if you visit NYC and never leave the Times Square area (and many tourists don’t), you are doing yourself a great injustice.
That said, I have been able to experience many U.S. cities, the way they were meant to be experienced: drinking in bars with the local, single crowd and off the beaten path of souvenir stores and cheesy theme restaurants. Here’s my list, in reverse order, of the ten best U.S. cities to party in.
10. Washington D.C. - the nation’s capital sneaks into my top ten due to the strong bar scenes of Adam’s Morgan, Georgetown and near-by Old Town Alexandria, VA. You can find great restaurants and beautiful people in all three. The major drawback is the pretentious D.C. power scene. Since everyone in Washington works for the government and is pulling in around $35K a year, expect a heavy dosage of “who do you know?” and “who do you work for?” talk. It’s a little disgusting, actually.
9. San Francisco - I’ve never seen as many white cab drivers in one city as I did the last time I visited San Francisco. I swear to God that one of the cabbies was Jerry Garcia...the guy looked just like the late Grateful Dead singer, although I don’t think my brother was buying it. Regardless, the city is full of great restaurants, great scenery and a plethora of chill bars with a funky, beatnik feel to them. The major drawback? Public transportation is somewhat of a bitch and cabs are expensive as all hell.
8. San Diego - I refer to this city as “Man Diego,” due to the disproportionate number of single guys to single women. I actually looked this statistic up once and found that 59% of singles in San Diego between the ages of 18-29 are male, while only 41% are female. Ouch. Talk about staking the deck (or the dick in this case). Granted, that 41% female is ALL quality, but don’t be surprised when you go out to the bars downtown and find sets of ten dudes conversationally masturbating around two girls.
7. Los Angeles - the level of pretentiousness in this city if off the charts, but if you’re able to suck it up and accept it for what it is, you’ll find tons of great places to go out. My personal favorites include the Hollywood/West Hollywood/Le Brea areas as well as Santa Monica. Public transportation and cabs in Los Angeles is somewhere between a bitch and non-existent, so make sure someone stays sober enough to drive to Roscoe’s for some fried chicken and waffles before heading home after the bars close.
6. Austin - the live music scene is this central Texas town is pretty much unrivaled. With the music, you can find plenty of beer swilling college students and even a fair share of beautiful, blonde and busty (everything really is bigger in Texas) 20-something women. 6th street is the place to go for the rowdy college Texas bar crowd. For a more chill, older Martini and cigar crowd venture over to 4th street. If you’re feeling extra adventurous grab 15 of your best friends, fill a cooler full of canned beer and spend a day floating down the Guadalupe river.
5. Las Vegas - you can find an answer in Las Vegas for any vice you might have. A weekend full of drinking, gambling, strippers and whores is the Vegas version of batting the cycle. So why is Vegas only number five on my list? From a strictly drinkers perspective you can get yourself into a lot of trouble in Vegas if you booze too much...which is absolutely set up by design. Also, if you’re a clubbing person, Vegas is great, but if you’re looking for a good old Irish Pub with great music, you’re not going to find one here.
4. New Orleans - I describe New Orleans as the best little shit-hole to party in and then get the hell out of...and this was before hurricane Katrina. The bars stay open all night long, you can drink in the streets (as well as piss and shit for that matter) and the drinks are the only thing stronger than the god-forsaken stench of the French Quarter. The last time I actually blacked out was in New Orleans. There was a period of three hours between 2 AM and 5AM that I don’t remember a fucking thing. All of a sudden, I snapped out of my drunken comma and I was drinking Cappuccino and eating Beignets at Café Du Monde.
3. Boston - the ultimate young-person’s city. Drinking isn’t something you do just to blow off some steam after work, drinking is a way of life in Boston. You go to a sports event, you booze. You go to a concert, you booze. You go to the Cape, you booze. To Bostonians, life is one big excuse to get fucked up...and who can argue with that? The partying drawbacks include the fact that some bars close at 1AM and some close at 2AM. (and there’s really no rhyme or reason as to why this is)...and it’s easier to find a sober person at a Red Sox game than it is to find a cab downtown at 2AM.
2. Chicago - There’s a reason why New Jersey/New York’s own Frank Sinatra called Chicago, “my kinda town.” This lakeside mid-west city is God’s gift to beer lovers. From downtown to Lincoln Park to Wrigleyville, you can find plenty of great bars with approachable and good-looking women. Hell, the women in this city will actually approach you. It’s unbelievable really.
1. New York - was there really any question as to the best city in the U.S. to party in? There are over 10,000 bars in NYC, they stay open until 4 AM and there are a plethora of cabs to take your drunken ass home at the end of the night. Not to mention, the city is full of great restaurants, beautiful women and heavy-handed bar tenders. This city is a boozer’s Toys ‘R Us with a bar and a drink for every taste and occasion. The biggest drawback? So many bars, so little time.
So what are you doing still reading this blog? Go out and party in the greatest city in the world!
Cheers,
NYCDG
posted by NYC Drunk Guy at 6:48 PM
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