Monday, June 26, 2006

White People are Crazy

Here I am again. It’s nearly 1:00 AM on a Thursday night and I’m on the subway heading home when these “people” enter the car at 42nd street and sit next to me. You’ve seen these people before, probably on the subway or walking around artsy (read: weird) areas like the East Village. You also might remember these types of people from cheesy 80s films about high school life. Back then I didn’t think these types of kids really existed outside of Hollywood’s fucked up view of reality...then I started living in New York City and I realized that I was wrong.

Anyway, I’m talking about the hardcore “alternative” people, some might call them “mods.” Not alternative like Eddie Vedder flannel and ripped jeans, I’m talking old school alternative like the 1980s, decked out in black, dark make-up, metal spikes and haircuts that look like a drunk guy took a weed whacker to their head. These guys looked like rejects from a Midnight Oil video.

Maybe it’s because I’m a little older now, maybe it’s because I’m a corporate whore or maybe it’s a combination of the two, but I can’t help but think what the fuck do these guys do for a living? To my surprise as I’m sitting next to them I realize that these punks are actually talking about “normal” thinks like iPods and shopping and shit like that. I then glanced over and noticed these two Mexican guys across from me talking their heads off in Spanish while gesturing and laughing in the direction of these freaks next to me. [By the way, they just got off the train at 14th street. No doubt they are headed to Brooklyn on the L...smart money is on Williamsburgh...it’s the new East Village, you know]

It’s at this point that the thought first occurred to me, “white people are crazy.” Think about this for a minute, when’s the last time you’ve seen a black, Asian or Hispanic person decked out like they were on their way to sit in the endzone of a Raiders game? You don’t, you know why? Because more times than not, their lives are hard enough. These people are working three or four jobs just to scrape up enough coin to make rent and feed their kids...with the occasional jaunt to the titty bar or Hypnotic purchase at the local liquor store - everyone has their vice.

So then why do you see these white freaks with their spiked leather garb, their multitude of piercings and tattoos and their semi-shaved (dyed) black hair? Because these mother fuckers were raised in a good home in the fucking suburbs by parents who loved them and wanted nothing more than to pay for their four year education at a private school in the Northeast. Yeah, my money’s on the fact that the majority of punks you see on the street aren’t like that because they had a hard life. Rather, I think it’s because their life was too easy and they feel like they have to make “bad” shit up to truly “understand” what the world is like. [Sidebar: I just noticed that I’m in subway car number 666...I’m not joking. That can’t be a good sign given the subject]

You know what I say? I say bullshit. Bull fucking shit. Listen mother fucker, are you so self-absorbed that you can’t look around and see all these people struggling to survive and you’re trying to rebel against your parents because they drive a Volvo and wouldn’t let you stay out later than midnight in high school? Fuck you. Get the fuck over yourself, grow some natural color hair, make up with your parents and stick that silver spoon so far up your ass that your teeth start to sparkle.

White people are crazy...and yes, I’m an angry drunk tonight.

NYCDG

P.S. for those readers that haven't actually taken the time to read my profile...I AM WHITE!