Drunk Songs
I wore my underwear backwards today. Not on purpose. I got up a little earlier than usual this morning so that I could get a jump start on the day, but evidently I’m not a morning person, seeing as I can’t seem to place the tag of the boxers against my back side. The sad thing is that I didn’t notice until about 11 AM when my morning coffee set in and I needed to relieve myself. I went to the bathroom and couldn’t seem to find the easy access folds that occupy the front of a pair of boxers. It was at this point that I though, “so that’s why I felt a little turned around when I was walking to work this morning.” The sad thing was that I could have just gone into one of the stalls and flipped them around in two seconds, but thought “fuck it, I’m having a pretty good day so far, let’s see how this turns out with them on backwards.” Actually, I ended up having a great day. I might wear my boxers backwards again tomorrow.
What does this have to do with drinking songs? Absolutely nothing. I just thought that you might get a little laugh out of my otherwise private embarrassment.
I spent the last week visiting my brother in San Francisco. Last Friday night we were out at a bar in the North Beach area that looked a little like a twist between an Irish Pub, Sherlock Holmes’ house, and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disneyland...or Disney World depending on what part of the country you grew up in. Basically, the place was cool and played great music to boot...which got me thinking about the best songs to hear when you’re drunk.
Before I give you my list, I need to preface it with two rules when it comes to drinking songs:
(1) You’ve got to be able to sing along with it - not harmonize, but belt out like a bunch of drunk Irishmen (extra points if you can sway your beer with the harmony)
(2) The song needs to have at least one element of cheesiness, make you reminisce about “the good ole days,” and/or question your heterosexuality. If it has more than one of those elements, chances are it’s a great drunk song.
Finally, when I say “drinking songs” I mean great songs to hear when you’re absolutely shit-faced. When you’re at the point where you don’t care what you sound like or look like or act like. So without further ado, here’s my list of drunk songs in no particular order.
Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond) - “BUM, BUM, BUM!” You know what I’m talking about. You’ve yelled these same words late night at a bar or a house party. Admit it, Neil Diamond is the king of cheesy drunk songs. If you haven’t heard the rest of the Neil Diamond collection, give Forever in Blue Jeans, I Am...I Said, or Cracklin’ Rosie a whirl the next time you’re three sheets to the wind.
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison) - You haven’t lived until you’ve tied one on and danced with a brown eyed girl to this song. And if you’re not with one...just improvise the words to match the eyes of the girl you happen to be dancing with. If you’re too drunk to know what her eye color is...well, who really gives a shit at that point?
Pianoman (Billy Joel) - Probably the best damn drinking song of all time. Who’s going to argue that this is the ultimate drunk song, written by the ultimate drunk, about all those other drunks that don’t have enough ambition to get their ass off of the bar stool and make something out of their lives?
After the Rain (Nelson) - The cheese factor is very high on this one, but before you blow this song off, get good and sauced one night and then throw on a little Nelson. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
Jack and Diane (John Cougar Mellencamp) - This little ditty about Jack and Diane is great to sing along to. Grab a few cold, coldies, get your ten or twenty best friends together and belt this one out at 3'o clock in the morning.
Tiny Dancer (Elton John) - the song that accompanied a critical moment in the movie Almost Famous. I’m convinced that this is one of the greatest scenes in cinematic history and a great song to go along with it. “Softly....slowly...HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DAAAAAAAANCER, count the headlights on the highway...”
Family Tradition (Hank Williams Jr.) - “Hank, why do you drink?” TO GET DRUNK! Hey, it’s the south and it’s a family tradition...along with fucking your sister and pimping your pickup truck with gun racks and Confederate flags. Nevertheless, great drinking song.
New York, New York (Frank Sinatra) - Ever had that late night buzz in your head as you’re stumbling home from the bars and looking around at the buildings, the taxis, the lights, the bums pissing in the alley and say to yourself “fuck, I live in the greatest city in the history of the world?” That’s right bitch, this is New York fucking City and we’ve made it. That’s what Frank was talking about and that’s why I love this song.
Cheers,
NYCDG
What does this have to do with drinking songs? Absolutely nothing. I just thought that you might get a little laugh out of my otherwise private embarrassment.
I spent the last week visiting my brother in San Francisco. Last Friday night we were out at a bar in the North Beach area that looked a little like a twist between an Irish Pub, Sherlock Holmes’ house, and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disneyland...or Disney World depending on what part of the country you grew up in. Basically, the place was cool and played great music to boot...which got me thinking about the best songs to hear when you’re drunk.
Before I give you my list, I need to preface it with two rules when it comes to drinking songs:
(1) You’ve got to be able to sing along with it - not harmonize, but belt out like a bunch of drunk Irishmen (extra points if you can sway your beer with the harmony)
(2) The song needs to have at least one element of cheesiness, make you reminisce about “the good ole days,” and/or question your heterosexuality. If it has more than one of those elements, chances are it’s a great drunk song.
Finally, when I say “drinking songs” I mean great songs to hear when you’re absolutely shit-faced. When you’re at the point where you don’t care what you sound like or look like or act like. So without further ado, here’s my list of drunk songs in no particular order.
Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond) - “BUM, BUM, BUM!” You know what I’m talking about. You’ve yelled these same words late night at a bar or a house party. Admit it, Neil Diamond is the king of cheesy drunk songs. If you haven’t heard the rest of the Neil Diamond collection, give Forever in Blue Jeans, I Am...I Said, or Cracklin’ Rosie a whirl the next time you’re three sheets to the wind.
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison) - You haven’t lived until you’ve tied one on and danced with a brown eyed girl to this song. And if you’re not with one...just improvise the words to match the eyes of the girl you happen to be dancing with. If you’re too drunk to know what her eye color is...well, who really gives a shit at that point?
Pianoman (Billy Joel) - Probably the best damn drinking song of all time. Who’s going to argue that this is the ultimate drunk song, written by the ultimate drunk, about all those other drunks that don’t have enough ambition to get their ass off of the bar stool and make something out of their lives?
After the Rain (Nelson) - The cheese factor is very high on this one, but before you blow this song off, get good and sauced one night and then throw on a little Nelson. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
Jack and Diane (John Cougar Mellencamp) - This little ditty about Jack and Diane is great to sing along to. Grab a few cold, coldies, get your ten or twenty best friends together and belt this one out at 3'o clock in the morning.
Tiny Dancer (Elton John) - the song that accompanied a critical moment in the movie Almost Famous. I’m convinced that this is one of the greatest scenes in cinematic history and a great song to go along with it. “Softly....slowly...HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DAAAAAAAANCER, count the headlights on the highway...”
Family Tradition (Hank Williams Jr.) - “Hank, why do you drink?” TO GET DRUNK! Hey, it’s the south and it’s a family tradition...along with fucking your sister and pimping your pickup truck with gun racks and Confederate flags. Nevertheless, great drinking song.
New York, New York (Frank Sinatra) - Ever had that late night buzz in your head as you’re stumbling home from the bars and looking around at the buildings, the taxis, the lights, the bums pissing in the alley and say to yourself “fuck, I live in the greatest city in the history of the world?” That’s right bitch, this is New York fucking City and we’ve made it. That’s what Frank was talking about and that’s why I love this song.
Cheers,
NYCDG
posted by NYC Drunk Guy at 11:57 PM
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