A.A.
The other day I received this email from an actual reader that goes by the screen name “Funbuns” (insert your own joke here):
“I would suggest an AA meeting my dear...apparently you post the fact you are drunk every night. Get help.”
- Funbuns
OK, this wasn’t the exact email, I had to edit it for spelling and punctuation, but you get the point. By the way, what kind of screen name is Funbuns? I can’t seem to decide if I think she’s 8 years old or some gay dude from Chelsea.
Anyway, after I got past the fact that this person has no sense of humor, I began to really think about her words of advice. Please don’t be worried, I wasn’t taking her seriously. I subscribe to the idea that a drunk likes to drink, an alcoholic needs to drink. I choose my lifestyle, my lifestyle does not dictate me...but I digress.
What I started to think about was what would life be like if I didn’t go out and tie one on every now and then. So I sat down and listed all of the things I do better when I’m drunk than I am when I’m sober. Here’s what I came up with:
Yes, without sweet, sweet alcohol running through my veins I would never have started this blog. What would my thousands of readers do at work all day long if not read about my drunken experiences? Actually work? God forbid. Just remember, I’m doing this for you guys.
Say what you will about me and my drinking habits, but my philosophy is this: life is a series of celebrations with brief periods of sleep and work peppered in between...drink accordingly.
Cheers,
NYCDG
“I would suggest an AA meeting my dear...apparently you post the fact you are drunk every night. Get help.”
- Funbuns
OK, this wasn’t the exact email, I had to edit it for spelling and punctuation, but you get the point. By the way, what kind of screen name is Funbuns? I can’t seem to decide if I think she’s 8 years old or some gay dude from Chelsea.
Anyway, after I got past the fact that this person has no sense of humor, I began to really think about her words of advice. Please don’t be worried, I wasn’t taking her seriously. I subscribe to the idea that a drunk likes to drink, an alcoholic needs to drink. I choose my lifestyle, my lifestyle does not dictate me...but I digress.
What I started to think about was what would life be like if I didn’t go out and tie one on every now and then. So I sat down and listed all of the things I do better when I’m drunk than I am when I’m sober. Here’s what I came up with:
- Sing
- Dance
- Speak my mind (read: lose inner monologue)
- Play Golden Tee
- Have interesting conversations with total strangers
- Send ill advised emails from my Blackberry at 3:30 in the morning
- Cope with overly crowded bars, douche bags and Jersey sluts
- Gamble
- Eat pizza
- Hit on women that are way out of my league
- Hit on women that aren’t even in the minor league system of my league
- Find places to piss in public out of everyone’s (read: most people’s) sight
- Bowl
- Play Beer Pong
- Pound Jager Bombs
- Find ugly women attractive
- Write this blog
Yes, without sweet, sweet alcohol running through my veins I would never have started this blog. What would my thousands of readers do at work all day long if not read about my drunken experiences? Actually work? God forbid. Just remember, I’m doing this for you guys.
Say what you will about me and my drinking habits, but my philosophy is this: life is a series of celebrations with brief periods of sleep and work peppered in between...drink accordingly.
Cheers,
NYCDG
posted by NYC Drunk Guy at 10:18 PM
<< Home