Subway Game Theory

Have you ever been in an empty subway car? In a city where there’s seven million people sharing an area that’s roughly 1.5 miles wide by 11 miles long, having a completely empty subway car all to your self is a refreshing experience. You start to think things like “wow, if I split this car in thirds, I could charge 2 grand a month in rent and make a fucking killing. I can see the ads on the back of AM New York now – Prime Manhattan location, accessible to all areas of the city. Pets and homeless welcome.” I digress.

So there I was, on a Saturday evening all alone enjoying my empty C train when one other dude jumps on board, sits directly across from me…the doors shut and the train takes off. For a moment we glanced at each other before making the obligatory look away as if to say “oops, sorry, I didn’t mean to make eye contact with you.” Then it hit me, I’m trapped 50 feet underground in this subway car with a complete stranger that looks like he’s headed waaaaaaaaaay uptown and there’s essentially no way out. I look back at him again to size him up, just as he’s glancing at me as if he just had the same thought I did.

OK man, it might be ‘go time’, I think to myself. From what I can tell, I’m a little bit bigger than this guy and think that if push came to shove I could take him, but I’d be at a severe disadvantage if he were to make the first move. Should I make the first move and catch him off guard or should I take my changes that he won’t make a move on me? Shit. This is the classic Prisoner’s Dilemma situation…damn you John Nash!

Let me explain how my mind was working here.

My outcomes are on the top left of each box, the strangers outcome is on the bottom right. As you can see, if he moves first I get my ass kicked and he walks away at the next subway stop completely unscathed - no witnesses, no repercussions; if I move first, I kick his ass and get away safe and sound. On the other hand if we both move at the same time, we kick each other’s asses. However, each of our optimal outcomes is to not do anything…like Eazy-E said, “nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.”…and that’s exactly what I did...nothing. The trains stops at Spring, five other people get in the car and our dilemma is over. Safety in numbers. Good thing for him too because I would have beat his unsuspecting ass.

Cheer,

NYCDG

New Year's Resolution

I’m back. Yes, after an unprecedented (gasp) month hiatus, I’m back in the blog world. I wish I could say that I’ve spent the last four weeks “finding myself” on a booze and exotic drug binge through South East Asia, but I unfortunately I have not...I mean we all can’t live like my younger, smarter, tree-hugging-dope-smoking brother, right? I on the other hand have been working my ass off. Since the New Year, I have traveled to New Orleans, San Antonio and Miami on business (hey, it’s not all that bad, right?). In fact, in the over the past 20 work days, I’ve spent nearly 10 of them on the road…the rest I’ve been trying to catch up on all of those bull shit things that pile up while you’re not in the office, so that’s fun. No excuses, just facts, but I felt like I owed you an explanation…and now I digress.

Let’s see, what has happened in the past month of note. I guess I’ll start from the top. The New Years party was great. Nothing really to blog about, but I did finger a female friend of mine in front of another male friend…which nearly lead into a “finger cuffs” situation that would have been slightly awkward in the morning, but other than that, it was fairly uneventful. My trip to New Orleans was great. One of the nights on Bourbon Street was probably blog-worthy, but I wasn’t logging it in my Blackberry (which is absolutely critical when Hurricanes are involved), so I’ll probably miss some valuable pieces of information…and as you know, the devil is in the details. That said, I brought what ended up being a 23 year old virgin back to my hotel room and would have banged the crap out of her had it not been the tightest fucking hole I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m not joking. She was wet as hell and when I stuck a finger in I felt like my circulation was going to get cut off…it seriously felt like someone had tied a rubber band around my finger eight times. I cursed the two second decision when I was packing for the trip 48 hours earlier not to bring the lube. Bad call, oh well. I jacked off on her tits and then passed out. That is essentially the gist of the first four weeks of my New Year.

I have a rule regarding the New Year: I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I think they are pointless and set people up for failure and disappointment for the upcoming year. I make lists instead. I have a working list of 100 things I want to do before I die. Highlights include climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, throwing out a first pitch at a Major League Baseball game, running a marathon, visiting all seven continents in the world, meeting a U.S. President (which I have done…he complimented me on my shoes) and having a threesome (what would a list be without some sexual goals as well? And no, I’ve never had a threesome, although I’ve come very close).

In addition to my running list of major accomplishments every New Year I write down some things I want to accomplish in the up-coming New Year. I always pepper in a few things from my “master list,” but I mostly include smaller things that I want to do over the next 12 months. You see, I subscribe to the Ferris Bueller school of thought that,”life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you just might miss it.” I think that in order to get the most out of our short time on this planet we should set some goals and see them through…hence my personal To-Do list. Here is a little peak at a few things from my list for 2007...and some of the things you have to look forward to reading about:

• Backpacking Trip to Mount Hood in Oregon - don’t worry, I’m going in the summer

• Blow Out Weekend for my 30^th birthday - yeah, I turn 3-0 this year…don’t remind me

• Trip to a wine region that I’ve never visited

• Las Vegas for NBA All-Star Weekend - I think I’ll have a few things to write about after this trip

• Dinner at Per Se – I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile…I’m finally going to drop the 4 bills on a nine course dinner this year. The only problem I’m going to have is finding someone else to go with.

• NYC Old School Pub Crawl – a crawl to the oldest pubs in Manhattan

• Drunk Guy’s annual trip to Fenway Park – I want to meet some of my faithful Boston readers at the Cask n Flagon for some pitchers before the game (of course Jersey and Boston Red will be present as well)

• Two chicks at the same time – it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine

Looking forward to spending another great year with you guys!

Cheers

NYCDG