Overheard in New York

I read Overheard in New York from time to time because I enjoy how it emphasizes the stupidity of others…especially tourists. This past weekend I actually had two “Overheard in New York-worthy” exchanges that I had to write about.

Finishing up my Christmas shopping on Saturday afternoon I was walking up 6^th Ave when I had this exchange with a female tourist standing on the corner of 49^th and 6^th:

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know if the streets get bigger going this way (pointing north)?

NYCDG (quickly walking by): No, they are all about the same size.

With all my Christmas shopping done, I had to go out and celebrate over a few cocktails on Saturday night. At the end of the evening I decided to take the subway home as it was still fairly early and I was feeling adventurous. As I step into an almost empty subway car and take a seat across from a homeless guy that looks like he’s about to settle in for the night, the following exchange occurs.

Homeless guy: Can you spare some money so I can get something to eat?

NYCDG: Sorry man, I don’t have any cash on me.

Homeless guy: Come on, please. I’m so hungry I’d suck your dick for a cheeseburger.

NYCDG: A Wendy’s cheeseburger or a White Castle cheeseburger?

Homeless guy: Man, fuck you.

Cheers,

NYCDG